life, and a little more

Lucy The Sled Dog

Jan 18

metalman777family, humor, videos No Comments

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpw8fesZ_xM]

We spent the nice sunny afternoon outside shootin’ hoops and being pulled by our sled dog, er, wannabe sled dog!  Lucy just has so much energy that I had to see if I could put it to good use.  Doesn’t look like we are moving fast, but she was pulling me a good 10-12 mph! And of course, the kids were too chicken to try!

New Christmas Song From Theocracy

Dec 19

metalman777audio, humor, music christian metal, christmas music, heavy metal, music, theocracy No Comments

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2008 FROM THEOCRACY!

PUSH PLAY BELOW TO LISTEN TO THE SONG

[audio=https://dl-web.getdropbox.com/get/Music/Theocracy%20-%20Rudolph%20vs.%20Frosty.mp3?w=4f0722e0]

RUDOLPH VS. FROSTY (Smith)

Everyone knows Rudolph has a big, red shiny nose
And Frosty comes to town every December when it snows
But did you know that those two never really got along?
I bet you’ve never heard this Christmas song…

“I’ve paid my dues for years and years, I’m Santa’s very favorite deer, so I should be the second in command at Christmastime,” says Rudolph
“Pull the sleigh where Santa goes and light the night with my red nose, I think it’s time for me to get what’s mine”

“Night lights are replaceable–a talking snowman’s magical; my agent says I need a bigger piece of Santa’s pie” says Frosty“
I bring children real joy, not just the latest stupid toy, I think it’s time for me to get what’s mine”

Then Rudolph rang his reindeer bells
Turned and sang with all the elves

Hey Hey Hey
Santa’s on his way
You’d better stop that bickering before it’s Christmas day
Ho Ho Ho
Egg nog and mistletoe
And Santa’s gonna take a torch and melt you to the floor

“Frosty, you’ve got coal for eyes, when things get hot you won’t survive, so get out of my way, this job is mine all mine (now snowman step aside),” says Rudolph
“Rudolph, man, your claim to fame’s a lightbulb and a funny name, and everybody knows I’m next in line”

Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won’t you kiss my corn cob pipe

Hey Hey Hey
Santa’s on his way
You’d better stop that bickering before it’s Christmas day
Ho Ho Ho
Egg nog and mistletoe
And Santa’s gonna mount you in his living room for show

“Hey Rudolph!”
“What?”
“I wrote a song about you!”
“Oh boy…”

“You wanna hear it? Here it go!

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And when ol’ St. Nick saw it
He thought it would look really good mounted on his wall”

“Oh you think that’s funny? Well check this out:

Frosty the Snowman
Was a puddle on the ground
And a makeshift scoop for the reindeer poop
Is the best use for his magic hat I’ve found”

With a nod of his head, Rudolph took to the sky, and swooping down, he gouged at Frosty with an antler to the eye
But Frosty struck right back and grabbed his bright red nose, and turned it right into a popcicle as Rudolph’s whole head froze
But Rudolph broke the ice, shook his antlers twice, and raced back in to strike again
But then a “Ho Ho Ho!” came booming from the sky, the echoed voice of you-know-who

With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly
And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye, St. Nick
With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder
And a “Ho Ho Ho!” and a “Look out below!” St. Nick

With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly
And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye, St. Nick
With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder
And a reindeer call and a “Dash away all!” St. Nick

“You two ougtta be ashamed, you’ve sullied Santa’s perfect name, this operation would go down the drain if I retired,” says Santa
“Neither of you gets the job, so go and join the Grinch’s mob, and Merry Christmas both of you, you’re fired!”

Then Santa broke into a smile
Said, “Everyone else stay awhile!”

Hey Hey Hey
Santa’s here today
And now it’s time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits
Ho Ho Ho
Everything’s alright
‘Cause Mrs. Claus has whipped us up a Christmas feast tonight

Hey Hey Hey
Santa’s here today
And now it’s time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits
Ho Ho Ho
Everything’s alright
‘Cause Santa’s having venison and snow ice cream tonight

The Best Part of Business Ethics (Episode 2 of The Office)

Oct 11

metalman777Battlestar Galactica, The Office, humor, videos bsg, funny, humor, The Office No Comments

Goodness this is funny! Jim is capping on BSG and totally frustrates Dwight! I know that Dwight was going to tell him that BSG is on hiatus until 2009 (like Lost) and it is a “re-imagined remake”! I sure felt for Dwight this time!

Comedy Comes to Town

Sep 12

metalman777Life, family, humor, videos Brian Regan, comedy, Kermit Apio No Comments

Last night my wife and I had the opportunity to go see Brian Regan at the Bob Hope Theater in Stockton last night.  We sure had a great time.  The material was about 90% new, so the jokes were fresh and funny.

If I could recommend any comedian, I would recommend Brian Regan.  He is clean and the entire family can listen to him.  Below are some clips for your viewing pleasure.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVKh8wAjBTY]

This clip is one of my favorites.  As an employee for AT&T, I just have to say that Brian’s take on the telephone company is absolutely true!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9m2FLHlEwA]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM-HWkbnDfg]

We walk around the house sometimes saying “Happy 8 day” just to be goofy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUv2u9ftqFI]

Kermit Apio opened up for Brian and he was pretty funny too.  He kind of reminded me of Ray Romano.

Now I just need a motorcycle

Aug 08

metalman777Uncategorized, art, humor Iron Man No Comments

Saw this posted on digg and absolutely love it!  I want a hog just so I can get a helmet like this!  Was originally from this blog:

http://coolaggregator.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/motorcycle_helmet/

The Office Webisodes So Far

Aug 02

metalman777The Office, humor, videos The Office, webisodes No Comments

For those of you who haven’t caught up with The Office Webisodes, here they are so far!

Kevin’s Loan, Ep 1 – Money Trouble

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXbKus_jOCM]

Kevin’s Loan, Ep 2 – Malone’s Cones

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBc08eDtbRY]

Kevin’s Loan, Ep 3 – Exposed Wires

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEgqbX3quU0&feature=related]

Kevin’s Loan, Ep 4 – Taste The Ice Cream

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djKk-p8gOC4]

Nostalgia No More

Jul 11

metalman777humor, music, videos No Comments

If you’ve read this blog for the smallest amount of time you’ll know that I’m an 80′s metal head through and through.

So I was super excited when I found out that we were getting VH1 Classics.  They block off a wedge of time, call it Metal Mania, and play nothing but 80′s metal videos.  I didn’t have MTV growing up and I only could watch Headbanger’s Ball when a friend taped it for me.  With much glee and anticipation I set our DVR to record Metal Mania so I could bask in all the goodness of 80′s metal, when music was really good and big hair ruled the world.

Once an episode (3 hours!!) had recorded, I quickly started watching…..

…..the first video to play was Judas Priest’s Breaking the Law.  I love this song and had never seen the video.  I sure wish I hadn’t!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYn5hxeFt10]

What kinda crap is this?  How did these metal gods let this video ever be produced?  It is painful to look at!  Make it stop!

After Breaking the Law comes Holy Diver by Dio.  One of my favorite Dio songs ever.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/TK-wznoUzog&hl=en&fs=1]

And one of the worst videos ever.  C’mon Ronnie! No one ever holds a sword like that! I just really had to laugh out loud at this one!

Next up was Def Leppard’s Rock of Ages.  Again, Pyromania is one of my all time favorite albums and should be required listening for anyone who calls themselves a child of the 80′s.  After seeing this video, I just shook my head.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/DvNOZegkVXo&hl=en&fs=1]

Now this is a craptastic video.  Like Holy Diver, there is a sword, but this one is clearly made of cardboard.  If there was an award for cheesiness, this video might take it!

The last video I will make fun of is Dokken’s Breaking the Chains.  Before I roast ‘em, I just want everyone to know that Dokken is one of my favorite 80′s metal bands and I think they personify that 80′s sound. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/nQb1t_Yw0S8&hl=en&fs=1]

Don Dokken sure needs a new make up artist! What the heck is that thing on George Lynch’s head?  Can you really play the bass by slamming your fist next to the strings?  Ugh…gotta love it whent the guitar strings turn into chains though!

So, my walk down memory lane turned a little sour.  No wonder the younger crowd doesn’t appreciate 80′s metal!  It looks so darn cheesy when you look at it!  But that’s what it was all about back then, eh?  Having fun, hanging out with your homeys and just banging your head.

But what would a critique of 80′s metal videos be without including my favorite, Stryper!  Always There For You actually got quite a bit of airplay back in the day.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/ysCx-rjMIXk&hl=en&fs=1]

You gotta love that Yellow and Black Attack!  To Hell With The Devil! Honestly!

Father’s Day Goodness

Jun 16

metalman777family, humor fathers day, kids No Comments

I had a great Father’s day today! My kids rock and they know it!

But I got an extra special surprise at church this morning! They had sponsored a contest for kids to write a small essay about their dads and my darling daughter Bekah wrote a nice story about me and she won!

Here is her essay:

My Dad

My dad, hmm let’s see. I guess the best place to start is the beginning. But first, let me tell you about me. I am his second (and favorite) daughter. My name is Rebekah, I am 11 years old. I will be a Cruickshank Tiger next year. Oh yeah, and I love to write stories.
Anyway, my dad has been there since the beginning. Putting a smile on my face, he was there, always there.
His dry sense of humor, (sorry dad, but you know it’s true) and his great personality, are only a few of the great qualities of my dad. He is very tall, and so whenever we play basketball as a family, we always want to be on his team. After all he is like 6 feet 3 inches, so it’s like a total advantage. He was also on the basketball team in high school. (you rock dad.)
Well he also helped me learn how to ride a bike. That was a fun experience. Telling him not to let go, even though he did. Falling off into the grass. Running off, mad at him for letting go, and you know the rest.
But my dad isn’t perfect. He can’t hear out of one ear. He can’t smell, which I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. He is lucky when it comes to stinky things. (cow fields, diapers, dog “stuff”, etc.) But he is terribly unlucky when it comes to good smelling things, (flowers, cornbread, cookies, etc.) but I still love him.
My dad does snore, but there is a reason, he has sleep apnea. I’m not quite sure what it is, but I do know that it means he has to use a machine at night-time. (I think it’s an oxygen machine)
Also, on every birthday, if there is school on that day or not, he sends us balloons and candy or a teddy-bear. I used to think it was kind of embarrassing to walk into my classroom with a big bouquet of balloons, but now I don’t. It’s from him and I think it’s special.In fact I like to wait on every birthday for the teacher to tell me to pick up something from the office. I know it’s the balloons. And every year I walk up to the office with a smile on my face, then I proudly take it back to my classroom.
But when it comes to all the things i talked about, they don’t matter and I don’t care at all. Just having him as my dad is the best reward. But I do love him so, so much. I will cherish every moment I get with him. He is extraordinary ( in a good way) and I like him that way. He is an awesome father, but not just a father, he is also a great friend- and a great person- to be around. I love him and hope to stay close to him all my life. (my mom is great to, but this is my dad’s story.) There is just one thing that I have to say to everybody, including my dad:
I love you so much dad. Thank you for all that you do for me to make my life worthwhile. I love you and thank you.

Written by,
Rebekah Latronica.

Isn’t that just so awesome! I mean, my entire house can burn down and my much loved Mac could go up in flames but as I long as I have love like that, it is all I need!

Thanks Bekah! I love you very much!

Ha Ha, Jokes On Me

May 01

metalman777humor, music eternal decision, metallica's new album, music 1 Comment

I’m always looking for new music. So when I had the chance to listen to the new Metallica, I jumped on it like nobody’s business! I quickly put the new album on my iPod and fired it up with much anticipation.

The guitars start blaring with the crunchy metal madness of old Metallica….the double bass drum beating with gusto…..the vocals intense and passionate, but a little muffled….crap this is good stuff…..

 Wait a sec, what was that chorus?

Risen…renewed in Christ
I’m risen….risen with Christ

Now I thought I did a good job keeping up with music news. No where have I even remotely heard that Metallica had become a Christian band. The music has to be Metallica, that sounds exactly like Master of Puppets coming out of my speakers. Isn’t that James Hetfield singing?

What the heck is going on here? I reach way back into my memory and remember a Christian thrash band called Eternal Decision. They sounded EXACTLY like Metallica, note for note. I do a quick search on wikipedia.org and find the song titles from Eternal Decision’s self titled albumand sure enough, those songs are the one’s playing on my iPod.

Some hoaxter put up a bit torrent labelled “New Metallica” filled with Eternal Decision’s music. Now that is funny! I’d love to see some of the metalhead’s faces when they hear “Metallica” singing about Jesus!

I fell for it, hook line and sinker!