Cursed With A Thin Beard

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I empathize with Calvin’s plight.  I’ve not shaved for over a week and this is all I have to show for it:

What’s going on here?  This much jaw hair grows on my brother’s face in just about 4 hours.  Don’t I share the same gene pool?  So I ponder, like Calvin, why am I cursed with a thin beard?  It just doesn’t seem fair!

What kind of beard would I grow if I could?  A big viking beard that could be braided would be awesome!  Something like Zakk Wylde….

I mean, what screams “metal god” more than long hair and a big beard?

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